Female genital mutilation (FGM), also known as female circumcision, refers to all procedures involving partial or total removal of the female external genitalia or other injury to the female genital organs for non-medical reasons.
It is most often carried out on young girls between infancy and age 14. In every form in which it is practised, FGM is a violation of girls’ and women’s fundamental human rights, including their rights to health, security, and dignity.
FGM has no health benefits and can lead to serious, long-term complications and even death. Immediate health risks include haemorrhage, shock, infection, HIV transmission, urine retention and severe pain.
Some societies see it as a rite of passage. Others use it to suppress a girl’s sexuality or ensure her chastity. FGM is not endorsed by Islam or Christianity, but religious texts are commonly deployed to justify it.
It is rather sad that people still practise this barbaric act. Research shows that the highest prevalences are in the South East and South West zones. One can only imagine the pains these girls go through.
But we thank God for civilisation and awareness, that the rate of FGM has reduced, but it’s still in existence. People in rural areas still practise this barbaric act. They feel it will reduce the sexual urge of women and help them keep a daughter’s virginity.
FGM has killed the sexual life of a lot of women. By using today to destroy tomorrow. This has caused two types of damage in the sexual lives of women. The first is that of decrease in the sexual urge of most women, which affects their relationships and marriage.
This affects women whose soft spot is located basically around the clitoris. That’s why no matter how long one plays with most circumcised women, they tend not to respond as expected because their only pleasure point, which is the clitoris has been removed.
I know it’s annoying using lubricants with a woman who hasn’t reached her menopause, but you just have to understand that it’s not their fault.
The second damage for most circumcised women is their insatiable lust for sex. They are never satisfied. They are like hungry lions when they are in their heat. And it’s scary to most men. But don’t blame them. Their body was programed to get massive orgasm through their clitoris. They however consider their breasts and other parts of their body as their sensitive spots, which only gets them aroused, but getting to orgasm becomes a hard job.
Most women rarely have orgasm through penetration. You can get on and on for hours irrespective of the size of the manhood and they won’t get an orgasm. They will enjoy the sex, but will not orgasm. It is only through rubbing the clitoris that such women get to their climax.
So imagine these category of women being circumcised. How do you think their sexual life will be? How can you satisfy these set of women? You can only exhaust them. That’s if you have the energy and control to last that long. They are wild beasts when they are on heat.
While most FGM women’s sexual lives are amazingly normal, getting aroused by what they see, by how they feel, by kissing, other parts of their body are very sensitive and responsive to sexual touch, and get orgasm by penetration because thats how their body is programmed to work.
Anita, a lady from the Eastern part of Nigeria, got circumcised at the age of 5. She grew up with zero sexual urge. When she was in the university, she enjoyed the good life, except sex. She heard how ladies enjoyed sex and wished for the experience, but the question she kept asking herself was why she had not really experienced a full turn-on?
She one day tried masturbating to see if she could have the great orgasm girls claim they experience just by playing with themselves. She stripped naked, stood in front of the mirror, and tried to pleasure herself. Anita felt so stupid, and just dressed up and laid on the bed. That’s when she knew she was different. But what’s the cause?
She met Femi, and developed feelings for him and decided to let him be the key that would unlock her padlock. But the experience was not a good one. She wasn’t wet enough to aid easy penetration. Since there was no lubricant available, they had to use water and God’s given internal lubricant (saliva), and it became successful. He finally became the key to her padlock.
She shared the experience with her friends, and they assured her that it’s because she was tensed that’s why she did not get turned on as expected. But after having sex with Femi for some months, he quit on her.
Femi told her that he was tired of her dryness and zero response to sex. That the sex was wack and that moreover, he was into licking of the clitoris. Since she had none to keep him entertained, he decided to quit. Femi loves a woman who responds to his touch.
Anita was dumbfounded. She knew it was bad but felt it wasn’t that bad. This killed her sexually. Whenever she met a guy she liked and wanted to go down with her, Femi’s voice would ring in her head and she would shy away, having the fear that the love they have for her would die off once they had sex. It became a psychological problem for her.
After the university, she met a young man who was a medical doctor. They started hanging out and feelings grew. He genuinely loved her and saw a wife in her. But Femi’s words from three years ago remained a chain on her mind. She was too scared to step out of the shadow.
Ken, the medical doctor, felt her fears could have been caused by traumatic experiences like rape and tried to counsel her. She eventually opened up to Ken and told him her ordeal. He acted as her doctor and as her lover and helped build her confidence.
One day, they finally had sex and he told her it wasn’t bad as she painted it to be. Which was a lie, just to boost her confidence. Sex with her was bad to Ken. But he refused to let go of the woman he loved just because of sex. He was kind to her, showed he understood her pain and refused to damage her the more.
Ken did his research and taught her how to identify other erogenous parts of her body that could trigger her arousal. He touched and intensively sucked on her boobs, and kissed her passionately, but the response was not fantastic. Then he tried licking her urethral opening and she let out a very strange but sweet feeling. That day, she had her first real arousal, and gradually she started enjoying sex and felt like a woman.
Idowu was circumcised at age 13. Her grandma was scared the way boys were around her and felt she had to protect her grandchild. Without the consent of her daughter, she circumcised Idowu. When Idowu’s mother came back, she saw the barbaric act and wailed. She told her mom that she had destroyed her daughter. The grandmother was shocked and told her daughter, “I did same to you, it helped you from not being loose. You should thank me.”
Idowu’s mom cried and shouted, “You destroyed my life. My husband is cheating on me all because I am boring in bed and not sexually active. Now my daughter will go through the same thing all thanks to you.” She treated her daughter and took her back to the city. A holiday with grandma was her worst nightmare come true.
Idowu grew up with a different storyline. Her sexual urge was tripped. Always in heat and sexually active, but satisfaction was the issue. Idowu can go on and on for hours until she’s tired, but no orgasm. She never experienced real orgasm.
Idowu never knew why she was different until she realised that orgasm was an impossibility. She took that it was her cross to bear. It was obvious to her that true orgasm would have come through her clitoris, but hers had been tampered with. She cursed the day she accepted to spend the holiday in the village.
Mrs Margaret, a widow is in deep pain. She decided to be a voice and advocate against FGM. She goes to rural areas, creating awareness to fight this barbaric act. This is her story.
At the age of 10, her mom took her for circumcision. Her clitoris was completely removed even to the urethal opening. She bled nonstop and was rushed to a local clinic for respite.
In her early 20s she took pride in it because unlike her friends who had abortions and got pregnant out of wedlock, she was the only virgin among them. One day on her way back from the market she met Amadi and over time they wedded. That was when regrets set in. Chaos moved in with her to the husband’s house.
Margaret said she was a beauty in her youth, but her husband lost sight of the beauty all because of her zero sexual urge. Her husband was a sex maniac. But she could stay three years without sex. She made no move on her husband because the urge was not there.
Amadi kept a lot of mistresses and disrespect her as a result. The pride she once had for not being like my friends, was taken from her. Chaos was a permanent resident in her home. What brought the chaos into her future? Her mother’s ignorance.
It’s sad that girls still have to go through this barbaric act. Yes, it’s not rampant as before, but it’s still in existence. No child deserves this sad experience. Circumcision should be abolished. The pain and traumatic experience are unbearable to most women.
This has deprived women from enjoying sex to the fullest. It has made a lot of women feel depressed and feel less of a woman because they cannot satisfy their husbands or experience orgasm like other women.
There’s need for an aggressive movement to stop this barbaric act. We need to create an awareness. Women should start speaking up more and share their experiences to educate those in the rural areas. We need to expose the harm inflicted on our daughters unknown to them.
Illiteracy is a disease. It has eaten deeply into the hearts of a lot of Africans. What we call culture has become cultural slavery. So called ancestors, instead of saying these are our fears, sat down and decided to implement FGM as a culture, because the typical human psychology craves for laws and regulation from those they see as a superior being.
Culture has become the chain that ties us down from reasoning as the higher being that we were designed to be.
